but the greatest of these is love.

the city never sleeps

God, thanks for opening my eyes to 

..the life that countless number of girls in the streets of NYC are forced into tonight. 

..the life outside my comfortable bubble: to new ideas, insights, thoughts, and friends

..the beautiful and glorious Life that You alone can give, that you have blessed me with. 

amidst the light and noise, glamour and skylines, amidst the brokenness and hurt, hopelessness and pain- all tangled in one big city, i pray for rest tonight.  i patiently await the day where You alone will be able to restore all things. 

weakness

my body hasn’t felt so weak in so long. 

this weekend was the first time i was sick in more than 2 years.  i thank God so, so much for keeping my body so healthy through all of it. 

but i’ve learned so much from being so weak this weekend. 

1. sleep is such a good thing, and there’s such a reason God created us to rest.  my body crashed on me friday, causing me to cancel all my plans, and literally sleep the whole day.  i thought i had recovered saturday morning, but i came home again tonight and felt so exhausted that i took a 2 hour nap and will be sleeping soon again… 

2. i still cling on to having everything in control so much.  when i had no control of my body on friday, i was frustrated.  why couldn’t i pull through any longer?  this is what college students do- get by on 5 hours of sleep.  i had to miss my meet-ups, miss large group, ask people to do things for me. (i realized, too, i am not in favor of asking favors..) i like having everything under my control, everything planned.  i still don’t trust God enough.  i don’t trust him enough with my future.  i don’t trust him enough with the people in my life.  i’m still learning what it means to surrender myself to Him alone. 

i am weak, Father, and can do nothing on my own strength.  i am constantly humbled by You.  

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” -2 Corinthians 12:9

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

Spirit lead me when my trust is without borders. 

Let me walk up the waters

Wherever You would call me. 

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my feet will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior 

-Hillsong, Zion

2

thank You, Jesus, for second chances. 

thank You for trading my ashes in for beauty. 

thank You for being Love- for loving people more so than I ever could, more than I could ever imagine. 

thank You for amazing grace. 

thank You for working all things for my good- even when I often can’t see it. 

it’s all for You. and it’s worth it all.   

i lay every burden down, at the foot of the cross.